


Do What I Feel

by wonhoshi



Series: Starship Hospital [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Car Accidents, Doctor! Shownu, Doctors & Physicians, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fantasizing, Fights, Fist Fights, Flirting, Hospitals, M/M, Masturbation, Mentions of drugs, Nurses, Nurses! Kihyun Changkyun and Hyungwon, Patients! Wonho and Minhyuk, Side ShowHyuk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-07 14:22:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8804278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonhoshi/pseuds/wonhoshi
Summary: Kihyun is tired of seeing this handsome man ending up in his hospital far too often but he doesn't know how hard this man tries to change for him. ShowHyuk is a small side ship, mostly KiHo





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a short smut bc i remembered a tumblr post where apparently people jerk it in hospitals and it freaks the nurses out. Instead i've begun yet another collection, this time in a Hospital AU with Fighter!Hoseok because why not.
> 
> Unbeta'd except by me.
> 
> Title is from B.A.P's Do What I Feel bc I don't know how to title things & that's legit my jam (no pun intended)

The hospital was cold and smelled like cleaning supplies.

It made Hoseok’s nose scrunch in disgust. He hated hospitals. They were depressing and bland, the all too white floors and walls were too bright with the hot LED lights beaming down on them. On top of all that, he’d always be lumped with some kind of nut case or someone who was too much of a talker. Hoseok only came to the hospital because of the fights he’d get in.

He knew they were stupid and led to restless nights in the said hospital, but the rush he’d get when he felt bones break under the sheer force and power behind his punches made it all worth it. That and the adorably cute nurse with a satanic demeanor that would usually take care of him.

This time it had been a scuffle with some asshole who deserved the beating he got from Hoseok. He wouldn’t leave this poor girl alone even after she put him down nicely, saying she wasn’t interested. The lady just wanted to find a cab and go home from the club they were at but the guy just wouldn’t take no as an answer.

Hoseok had approached quickly and tried to get the woman out of the situation but before he could, the other man turned hostile and fists began flying. Hoseok threw punches left and right, the other man was clearly inebriated so it wasn’t a challenge for the other.

Hoseok only ended up with some cut-up and bruised knuckles, along with a cut across the side of his forehead that required stitches because _that motherfucker wore a damn ring._ If it hadn’t been for that, Hoseok could’ve rode his motorcycle home and tended to his injuries himself. He was just glad that the other man ended up worse than himself, courtesy of Hoseok and his muscles.

The cute nurse always took care of him, even if the whole time he’d cleaned him up he’d bitch about Hoseok and his apparent “anger issues”. This time around he’d cleaned his cuts with an antiseptic gel that _burned_ and every time Hoseok would wince or hiss at the contact, the motherfucker would laugh. He wouldn’t even hide it, mouth open wide and eyes squinted in silent laughs. If it had been anyone else, Hoseok would’ve smashed their teeth in and give them something to _really_ laugh about—maybe he does have anger issues—but this was a cutie with a booty and Hoseok actually loved to see him laugh and smile, even if it was at Hoseok’s suffering.

Hoseok groaned at the roommate he’d been given this time around, a boy with a pretty face and dark hair that just _did **not** know how to shut up._

“So I just gave up and said yes, and that is how I ended up here!” The boy had almost screamed, way too excited to be in a hospital. In all honesty, Hoseok had completely ignored the other as he talked because there was only so much Hoseok can handle before he actually does knock him out in hopes to get some precious silence. He nodded, faking a smile and the other took it as a sign to keep talking.

“Even though I had that gut feeling that I shouldn’t have, it just seemed so cool, ya’ know? Like it was so cute looking and pink and apparently I’d see all kinds of colors and stuff and that sounded so rad so I went ahead and ju—oh hi Nurse Yoo and Doctor Son! It’s nice to see you again!”

Hoseok silently thanked the two hospital workers for their arrival, effectively putting a stop to that endless story and giving the boy someone to direct his attention and enthusiasm to.

“Hello there Minhyuk, how are you feeling?” Doctor Son had asked, his deep voice reverberating in the medium room and its bland white walls.

“Good! I don’t feel like I’m shaking out of my bones anymore and the feeling has returned to my fingers. See?” Minhyuk had waggled all his fingers in front of his face to show the doctor. “No more numbness for you little guys!!” He talked to his fingers, grinning from ear to ear. The doctor chuckled at the other and neared to check his clipboard that hung at the end of his bedframe.

“And you?” Nurse Yoo had directed the question to Hoseok, who had been watching the doctor flip through several pages of charts and numbers on Minhyuk’s clipboard.

Hoseok shrugged and smirked, tugging at the small cut that was on his lip. He winced and grimaced at the motion, hand coming up to feel at the slowly scabbing cut. Nurse Yoo laughed, once again at Hoseok’s misery, and went around his bed to grab his face and inspect his injuries.

“The stitches seem to be holding fine, that cut on your lip will be a bitch though.” Hoseok wanted to laugh at his nurse’s language, the doctor’s low voice in the background warning him to watch his words. Nurse Yoo just laughed again and told the doctor he’s sure his patient has heard worse. Which he has. It left the doctor shaking his head in mock disappointment.

“Your knuckles should heal fine, as long as you don’t decide to be stupid and let your anger get the best of you _again._ ” He continued, eyeing the monitors and machines that surround Hoseok’s bed. He circled the frame and mimicked the doctor, grabbing Hoseok’s own clipboard and checking his information.

“His vitals look good sir, heart rate is steady and plasma looks to have replenished. I believe Mr. Shin here can go home now.” His nurse reported, watching as his eyes scanned the numbers and words on his papers. The doctor nodded in agreement, scooting over once to look over his nurse’s shoulder to confirm the numbers before moving back in front of the other patient’s bed.

“Please prepare him for discharge then, Kihyun. I’ll be taking Mr. Lee to the diagnostics lab to take one more exam to ensure the toxins have been properly flushed out of his system.” His nurse—Kihyun—nodded and motioned for Hoseok to stand and follow him.

“Please gather your belongings Mr. Shin, the few you had that is.” Kihyun had grinned slyly, poking fun at the leather jacket, wallet and phone he had, along with some ripped jeans and heavy leather combat boots. Hoseok shook his head in embarrassment and picked up his things and followed his nurse, trying to ignore his ex-roommate hooting and hollering at him

“Nice ass Mr. Shin!” Minhyuk cackled while Hoseok tried to close the open back of the hospital gown he was forced to wear. His face felt heated and was most likely already a shade of red.

Doctor Son apologized for Minhyuk’s outbursts and behavior while Kihyun had simply laughed, some sound actually coming from his wide mouth this time.

“Here you are Mr. Shin, you may change back into your clothes here.” Nurse Yoo had directed him to a small bathroom, one very similar to the one he had in his shared room.

“Can I know why I couldn’t change back in my room and saved myself the embarrassment of my bare ass being on display for my roommate and the entire west wing to see?” Hoseok questioned, bringing his clothes closer to his body and facing his naked rear towards the bathroom door to further shield it from curious eyes.

“Consider it punishment, for continually injuring yourself for the sake of the thrill of the fight. Besides, it’s nothing new to anyone on the floor, plenty of patients are wearing those gowns. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” His nurse responded, smirk plastered on his features.

“I dunno Nurse Yoo, I think my ass looks better that any old fart that lives inside these walls.” Hoseok retorted, smirking while he turned to open the bathroom door and enter. He hears his nurse choke on his words and he’s pretty sure his eyes took a trip south to get a peek of Hoseok’s admittedly perky ass. Hoseok wouldn’t admit that he might’ve loosened his grip on his gown to give the cute nurse more than just a peek.

After changing back into his clothes, he realized how out of place he looked. He was at a nightclub before here, so he was wearing something to make himself look good and hopefully get laid. It included the boots and ripped jeans and leather jacket he carried, but other than jewelry, that was it.

He hadn’t worn a shirt underneath, using it as an excuse to show off his toned body and entice a cute twink to go home with him tonight so he could fuck him into the mattress while imagining a small, pink-haired nurse underneath him instead.

Hoseok laughed at the change of events, instead of having sex and maintaining deep in denial that he was certainly **not** interested in his on-call nurse, he ended up essentially in the arms of said nurse. Running his hands through his blue-tipped locks one last time, he exhaled and turned to leave the restroom.

“Spent quite some time in there, had some trouble?” His nursed teased, eyes in small slits while he smiled a cute sly grin. Hoseok scoffed and waved him off, following to where the nurse would show him some forms and paperwork, he’d take care of the payment and the inevitable goodbye would be given.

As much as Hoseok hates being in the hospital, he really enjoyed the company of the other man, even though he was a savage as could be. It made Hoseok feel like there was more than just fighting and sex that could bring thrill in his life. He never let these thoughts go far though, effectively reigning them in and keeping them locked away.

“Here is the paperwork you need to read over and sign Mr. Shin, and payment will be taken care of by Ms. Yun here. Please try to think before acting, and at the very least, take care of yourself. Until next time Mr. Shin, which I hope isn’t anytime soon.” His nurse said, smile looking a lot more bleak than before and his eyes scrunched in happiness but they clearly told another story as they flickered with what looked like—sadness? Hoseok couldn’t quite pinpoint it before Kihyun had turned and left.

He signed the papers and handed over his card and ID to the woman at the reception desk. She explained simple procedures to take with new stitches and care, even though Hoseok has heard the whole spiel plenty of times already. He nodded and let his eyes travel to follow the pink-haired nurse walking away. He watched as the man greeted a fellow worker who was pushing a woman in a wheelchair. He bent down and greeted the woman, smiling big and bright for her but it didn’t seem to compare to how he smiled with Hoseok.

He stood up and waved goodbye to them and continued to walk down the long, blank corridor. The hall seemed to stretch far past the shorter male, past his slim figure and blue-green scrubs. Hoseok sighed and took his card back, along with some copies of papers that the woman made for him.

He waved goodbye to the sweet woman behind the counter, giving her a gentle smile. He walked off and ignored the eyes that ogled his exposed torso. When he made it outside, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, going to call for a cab to take him to the nightclub he was at previously so he could pick up his motorcycle and head home.

As he walked closer to the parking lot, his eyes stayed focused on his cell phone as he dialed a local cab service. He hadn’t realized he was already in the road and it was too late for him to do anything when the sound of a horn honking suddenly attacked his eardrums.

The next thing he knew, everything was bright white and then pitch black the next second.

\----------------------

Muffled voices murmured around Hoseok’s mind, everything still dark as he tried to focus on making the sounds into actual words. There were two voices, one a low hum that made his bones turn to mush and the other a light, songlike voice that instantly soothed the man.

He finally pried open his eyes, trying to adjust to the harsh lights in the room he was in. After everything came into focus, he turned his head and found two people looking at him. It seems like they were having a conversation before, not expecting the man in the bed to come to just yet.

“Hello there Mr. Shin, you’re back sooner than we expected.” One man said, it was Doctor Son. His face was soft with worry and he looked back down at the clipboard in his hands, undoubtedly his own information was printed on it.

Nurse Yoo was there as well. While Doctor Son looked over Hoseok’s vitals and information, Nurse Yoo neared Hoseok, handing him a small bottle of cool water.

He murmured, eyes not making it all the way to Hoseok’s own, “You know, when we say ‘see you soon!’ we don’t actually mean it.” He looked upset, and Hoseok finally realized what state he was in.

He lifted himself up to lean his back on his bedframe and took in what he saw. His leg was in a cast and his arm bandaged. His shoulder burned with movement and Hoseok used his hand to feel the gauze that was wrapped around his left shoulder blade. His hand trailed up and he felt a bandage wrapped firmly around his stitches on his forehead, which felt raw and new; he’s sure they were reopened in the incident. Which the details were still fuzzy to Hoseok.

“What happened?” He asked, mind trying to wrap itself around the situation.

Nurse Yoo sighed, as if it caused him a great pain to retell the story.

“You weren’t paying attention and you walked right into the E.R. Ambulance Entrance road. One was coming in with a patient who was bleeding out so they were coming in too fast and hit you. Your leg has a fracture, you got some road rash on your arms and shoulder and you hit your head pretty hard; not only did it reopen your stitches, but you also got another set put in at the base of your neck.”

Felt his way to the nape of his neck and felt some bandages there, no doubt covering the stitches Kihyun had mentioned. He couldn’t believe his shitty luck. Every muscle in his body ached and screamed for some relief.

“Don’t worry, we’ve already began giving you something for the pain. It’ll kick in shortly.” Nurse Yoo said as he circled to the other side of Hoseok’s bed, checking the I.V. stationed there and ensuring it was properly working. It seems like Hoseok had said something about the pain out loud or maybe Kihyun sensed his discomfort. Either way, he appreciated the other’s gentle care for once.

Hoseok took a moment and looked around, noticing he was in a private room this time, no creepy or noisy roommates to have to deal with. Doctor Son gave some instructions to Nurse Yoo and told Hoseok he’d check on him in a little while. He left with a small smile to the two of them and shut the door behind him.

Hoseok reached for the remote attached to his bed and elevated the back of it, allowing him to rest comfortably at an angle. He turned on the small T.V. and watched as it hummed to life, turning on to some soap opera channel. He flickered between channels until finding an action movie on one and settled on it.

Hoseok let out a cheeky grin and put on his most innocent face and voice, “Nurse Yoo, could you be a dear and fluff my pillow?” Kihyun turned and gave Hoseok the most unamused face he could muster. It made Hoseok laugh, big and bright and the motion suddenly made his sides burst in colors of pain. Kihyun’s expression changed in an instant, worry suddenly overtaking his face as he ran forward to check on his patient.

“You need to be careful, I know you may not like me and might like to ignore my instructions because you think it makes you cooler, but all that's gonna do is leave you dead or paralyzed. Neither of us want that, I’m sure?” Kihyun voiced, trembling with slight fear at the other’s pain. He thoroughly checked his body, making sure no wounds were open or bleeding at the sudden movement of the other.

“What makes you think I don’t like you?” Hoseok asked, his voice smaller than usual. He cleared his throat when the other made no motion to answer his question, instead allowing the awkward silence to deepen. He senses his nurse tense up, watching him reach behind Hoseok to fix his pillow as he had requested earlier.

“I don’t treat you as kindly as I should. I treat you like a mother treats her child, nipping at their heels and chastising them when they do wrong. I treat you in a way I don’t treat the other patients. I’m sure you don’t appreciate it.” His nurse began, the man a hollow shadow of who he was earlier; no sarcasm or smiles present this time around.

Hoseok pondered at the others words for a moment, taking in what he said. It’s true that Kihyun treats him differently, seems to take his injuries more serious than other nurses but still tries to make him smile and see more than just the white walls of the dingy hospital.  Nurse Yoo seems to coddle him in ways he hadn’t noticed before, always asking him to take care of himself and to try and handle his anger a little more.

Hoseok unconsciously took in his advice, only now realizing how many less fights he’s been in as of late. Even then, most of them were for good reason and he’d barely get injured. It seems like he’d get hurt the bare minimum to be admitted into the hospital. _To see Nurse Yoo_ he thought.

A sigh brought him out of his thoughts and he was met with sad eyes. Kihyun had finished with his pillow and Hoseok hadn’t even said anything about not liking him. If only Kihyun knew.

Nurse Yoo was the only one who seemed to even care for him. At first, Hoseok had told himself it was just professionalism, that it was part of his job to care. But Kihyun had cared for him more than his job required, going as far as giving him a good smack across the head once to try and knock some sense into the man. It was a bold move, but it worked when it came to Hoseok.

As Nurse Yoo began to leave, Hoseok finally found the words to say, hoping they were the ones Kihyun wanted to hear.

“I don’t hate you. I don’t _not_ like you. You treat me differently, yes, but with good intentions. Out of everyone who’s lucky enough to have a hunk like me in their life--“

Kihyun snorted at the comment, allowing Hoseok to smile at his small laugh and he continued,

“—no one’s really put in any effort to try and stop me from getting hurt like you have. Like you still do. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I appreciate you and what you’ve done so far for me. I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you for continuing to fight even after the countless slaps and lectures you’ve given me. Just know that I don’t want you to think that I hate you, that I could _ever_ hate you.”

Hoseok looked towards the other man as he finished, hoping from some kind of reaction from an otherwise frozen Kihyun. A few seconds after his final words and Hoseok began to grow restless.

“Well?”

Kihyun shook his head, mouth slightly agape. It’s almost like he couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. His voice was small, smaller than ever, and Hoseok nearly missed it as it mumbled out a light ‘ _thank you’_. The words alone made Hoseok’s heart flip in his chest and he smiled, nodding and falling back to rest back onto his pillow. Kihyun smiled and left the room, door shutting softly behind him.

This was enough to make Hoseok forget the pain that echoed all throughout his body and fall asleep to the sounds on the television.

\------------

“So wait, he _didn’t_ confess his feelings for you?” A male nurse asked, his lean and tall body up against the counter of their break room.

Kihyun scoffed at the other and heard his other coworker explain the entire situation to him once more.

“Oh my God Hyungwon, you have big ears, _use them._ ” Doctor Son began, “He said he didn’t _not_ like him, meaning he does like him.”

Doctor Son knew of his crush on the return patient, always sending Kihyun to tend and take care of him. If he wasn’t working that night, he was sure to give him a call and let him know his favorite fighter was back again. Maybe it was because he sympathized with the younger nurse, knowing the feeling of falling in love with a patient. Maybe he just liked the power he had to make Kihyun come running at a single call.

Hyungwon, the tall and handsome nurse, just nodded and looked back at Kihyun, who was currently stirring sugar in his mostly milk filled mug of coffee. “So, aren’t you off the clock? Your shift finished at 11, right?”

Kihyun shamefully chose not to answer and instead ducked his head to take a sip of his coffee, grimacing at the lack of sugar in it and the fact that it had burned the tip of his tongue.

“And you’re okay with this?” Hyungwon directed the question at the head doctor in the room with them. Doctor Son shrugged and nodded.

“Wow Hyunwoo, never pegged you as such a romantic. Either way, I can’t wait to see this unfold. This is better than those trashy dramas that are playing non-stop in the nurse’s station.” Hyungwon shoves a dollar into the vending machine inside the break room and pressed some buttons, waiting until a pack of cookies dropped down. He bent and took the bag, flashing a failed wink at the two of them before stepping out to resume his duties.

“I’m happy for the two of you.” Hyunwoo said as soon as Hyungwon left, Kihyun turning his attention from his drink to the doctor. “I hope this is only the beginning. For your feelings that is, not for incidents like this.”

“As am I hoping for you and… what was his name again?” Kihyun asked, feigning an innocent face as he watched Hyunwoo begin to blush at the mere thought of the boy he had his eye on.

“Minhyuk.”

\------------

It was boring just sitting in his bed.

Hoseok had been in the hospital for about 5 days now. He was told he’d have to stay for at least a week for the fracture treatments and to keep an eye on his head after the hit. They wanted to absolutely make sure nothing got seriously damaged in the accident.

He had the option to call for a nurse—Kihyun—and have them wheel him around in a wheelchair but even then, it got boring. Hoseok liked to stay moving, he’s an active guy who has a thing for fighting. Of course he feels cooped up being kept on his bed nearly 24/7.

He tried to handle the crappy cable the hospital got but after the hundredth rerun of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” Hoseok had had enough. His phone was nearly dead and he had asked Kihyun put it to charge for him, borrowing a cable from another nurse, so he couldn’t use it. After playing I Spy by himself for about 20 minutes, Hoseok was dying for something else to do.

His favorite nurse wasn’t working at the moment, he’d came in for an early morning shift and tended to him during breakfast and the early afternoon but announced he had to go home and feed his dog sometime around 3 PM. He mentioned he’d return for a short shift at 8, saying he was covering for another nurse.

There was a clock on the high wall across from Hoseok’s bed but he didn’t like to look at it, feeling like the more he looked, the slower time would go. So he hadn’t even noted the time and how Nurse Yoo was probably due to be back in about 15 minutes.

He began to let his mind wander, thinking about the night before he first came here. He was sweaty and bloody, a heavy fight with a strong man who was taller than Hoseok but proved weak under the force of Hoseok’s anger.

It was the night he first met Kihyun.

His hair was a cocoa brown at the time, Hoseok’s own being platinum blond. Nurse Yoo introduced himself and quickly cleaned him up, complaining about how Hoseok was what they called a “bleeder” all because he apparently had thinner blood that seemed to flow easier. He had made a mess of the bed that night, remembering Kihyun reprimanding him for causing so much trouble for the custodians.

Any other nurse would’ve reassured him, made sure he was doing alright and cleaned him up gently. Kihyun was all sharp words and harsh tugs, the mere thought enticed the man. He always liked danger, the things that could bite him back. He thinks that’s what attracted him to his nurse in the first place.

If he had gotten anyone else that night, he’s sure he would’ve been dead on the side of the road by now.

His mind traveled to where he was now, how scared Kihyun had been when he got into that freak accident. Well, not so much freak as much as careless on Hoseok’s part. He feels guilty for putting his nurse in that position.

It wasn’t unheard of, patients and their caretakers forming bonds. It was fairly common, maybe not in the same way he and Kihyun had been growing closer, but common nonetheless. It was a whole trust factor, the patient’s lives in the constant hold of their doctor’s and nurse’s careful hands.

Hoseok thought about Nurse Yoo, about the different color scrubs he’d come in wearing. He never wore patterns like some he’d seen before, only solid colors. Teals, creams, grays, even a yellow every now and again. Even though the scrubs weren’t really flattering when it came to anyone’s body shape, they still managed to look good on Kihyun.

They hung off his slim frame, slipping occasionally and allowing Hoseok to see more of his milky skin, dotted in several freckles and moles. Hoseok thought about kissing them, following where they led until he reached the waistband of the other’s bottoms.

Hoseok let his hand trail and travel down his own body, pausing to rub at a nipple until it peaked in hardness. His nipples have always been sensitive and suddenly Hoseok thought about a pretty pink mouth latching itself and replacing his hand on his nipple. The thought made Hoseok grow harder, the only benefit of the hospital gown was the freedom it gave his dick.

He let his hand reach under his blanket and pushed his gown aside, taking hold of himself in his hand. He stroked upward, his cock jumping at the much needed friction. He thought about being on his knees, nosing along the front of his nurse’s pants. He’d look up, relishing in the expression of the pink-haired man. Hoseok groaned in real life, his fantasy beginning to feel like reality.

He tugged harder, the need to climax making itself more urgent. In his mind, he already had Kihyun’s half-hard cock in his mouth as he sucked, coaxing it to become firmer in his mouth. He gripped himself harder, imagining Kihyun’s moans as he showed him what he’s learned over the years of having an overactive sex life.

Slick dribbled from the head of his cock, Hoseok stopping to rub at the swollen gland. He finally was able to appreciate having a room by himself. He wonders vaguely if he could begin to request these from here on out. He’s sure Kihyun would have a soft spot for him and allow it.

Hoseok stroked faster, nearing the end as he thought about Kihyun. The man would be up against the wall, Hoseok taking him prisoner in him mouth. He’d make the other scream in pleasure, come roping across his own pink lips and flushed face.

He was right there, heart racing as the coil in his gut began to unravel. It was just a few strokes before he’d come, he was sure of it. Just a little further, he was almost there. He licked his lips and pulled and twisted around his head, one hand reaching back up to toy with his nipple to push him over the edge. Just _one more stroke_ —

The door burst open, the sounds of multiple bodies hitting it in a rush thudding loudly. Hoseok nearly screamed, taking his grip off his dick and pulling the blankets over himself. His heart rate rabbited as he looked around at the mob of nurses—and Doctor Son—who had suddenly barged into his hospital room.

“Are you alright?” Nurse Yoo questioned hurriedly, eyeing the man up and down in concern. Hoseok was beyond confused, wondering what made them all come running down here thinking he was hurt. _Was I screaming out loud?_ Hoseok thought.

“Your heartrate was off the charts, we were worried you were having a seizure or something.” Another nurse said, looking to be maybe an inch taller than Nurse Yoo but looked older than him.

A taller and slimmer nurse smirked at him, already figuring out what had happened. He stifled his laughter behind his hand as Doctor Son came to the side of the bed, reaching forward to feel his forehead.

“No fever, though you are sweating. Are you feeling alright Mr. Shin?” Doctor Son asked, doing everything in such a procedural manner it nearly made Hoseok cry in frustration. He held back his feelings and simply nodded, not trusting his mouth to formulate proper words at the moment.

“You scared the hell out of us Hoseok, what gives?” Nurse Yoo asked, not calling him by the proper name like Doctor Son had. Hoseok honestly wasn’t sure how to answer, his cock still was half-hard under the sheets and the sounds of Kihyun’s beautiful voice only urged it further.

“He was jerkin’ it!” The lean one exclaimed, nearly laughing at the words. Everyone in the room turned to look back at him.

“What? Oh, I’m sorry, let me use the proper terminology. _He was masturbating._ ” The nurse began again, voice in a mocking tone.

It was Nurse Yoo who turned back to look at him first, eyebrows furrowed in a way that Hoseok couldn’t decipher what they meant. Kihyun looked him up and down, stopping to look where his crotch was under the blanket. He pursed his lips and licked them, clearly holding back a bark of laughter.

His coworkers however, weren’t as courteous. The older looking one started to laugh loudly, hand coming down to slap at his knee. His laughter caused the tall one to finally burst out in a fit of giggles as well. It took Doctor Son a second before he chuckled, eyes meeting the ground. He was the only one who seemed to try to keep everything as professional as possible.

Then Kihyun started laughing, wide mouthed and eyes scrunched away behind his cheeks. Hoseok felt embarrassed but pleased that he made Kihyun laugh. Something warm burst in his chest and he let himself laugh a little as well, easing the tension in his muscles.

Nurse Yoo ushered everyone out of the room, Doctor Son asking him to check his vitals just in case while the tall one gave him a crappy wink. The older looking one made a crude gesture and Hoseok wasn’t so sure he was the older one anymore.

“Sorry about that, they’re immature.” Nurse Yoo said while checking his machinery. It didn’t look like he was actually paying attention though, more like it was a way to keep busy. To ignore the elephant in the room.

“Don’t worry about it, they actually remind me of my friends Jooheon and Jackson. They’re stupid like that too.” Hoseok laughed, seeing the other man chuckle and look over at him.

Finally, eye contact.

“Um, so, don’t even sweat it about the whole incident. It actually happens a lot more often than you’d think. Not that you think about that! It’s just, like a common occurrence around here and I don’t want you feel uncomfortable. Although having half the ward come rushing into your room mid… session was probably bad enough.” Kihyun stuttered over his words, clearly embarrassed about the entire incident.

Hoseok bit his lip, finding his actionss to be cute. He wanted to kiss his worries away and tell him how it was him he was thinking about.

“As much as it sucks to have to wait it out, unfortunately it’s probably best that you _don’t_ do that while you’re here.  Unless you don’t mind announcing to all the on-call nurses that you’re gonna take care of business beforehand.” Hoseok shook his head violently at the notion, the embarrassment of the idea alone scaring his boner away.

“I don’t think I’d like that. I may be into some kinky stuff but I’d rather not have everyone knowing when I’m pleasuring myself.” Hoseok said quickly without thinking, realizing too late how he said he was into ‘kinky stuff’.

His nurse suddenly turned a dark shade of red but he couldn’t tear his eyes off his patient. Hoseok tried to backtrack but what’s done is done. He accepted his fate and shrunk into the bed, hoping that if he wished hard enough, maybe he could disappear.

“Well, um. That’s… interesting. Anyways, everything looks fine so I’ll be leaving now.” Nurse Yoo began to head towards the door. “I’m really not supposed to do this but—“ Kihyun gulped audibly, eyes looking everywhere but Hoseok. He on the other hand, couldn’t tear his eyes off the other, curiosity gnawing at him, wondering what the other was going to say.

“I turned off your heart monitor, so if you wanted to finish what you started…” Suddenly Hoseok understood what he meant. “Just don’t have a heart attack or something, we’ll have no idea. Just buzz me when you’re all done and I’ll help clean up— **I mean** —I’ll come a-and turn it back on… and stuff.” The nurse stumbled over his last few words and nearly ran out of the room, trying to save himself from the embarrassment.

Hoseok laughed at the other. He was too cute for words. Maybe he’d finish his business later, right now he was too happy to even move.

It sucked to be walked in on, but Hoseok thinks he’ll let it slide this time.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is anyone else personally offended by Hoseok's outfit from that vlive for a magazine shoot (it's where i got his choice of clothes here from) it was RUDE and i'm still hurt by it


	2. It's All About You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay an update! I've had such serious writer's block, it's not even funny   
> Sorry if it seems inconsistent or choppy, I keep coming back and leaving, unable to stay focused for long periods of time. I blame myself for being so scatterbrained 
> 
> Title is from Jonghyun's White T-Shirt
> 
> Unbeta'd other than by me for like 2 seconds

Hoseok hurt.

Hoseok _really_ hurt.

His jaw stung and a harsh metallic tang filled his mouth so much that he had to spit out onto the concrete below his feet.

This is what Hoseok knew, what was familiar to him. He knew how to roll with the punches, how to take a good clock to the head only to come back with two more of his own. He knew how to channel his anger, his bitterness towards the world, and manifest it into power behind his fists.

His opponent was small, using his stature as an advantage to duck low and avoid the usual hits Hoseok would normally land. He was able to pack his body into a tight knot, only unraveling to jab two or three times straight to the weakest points on the man. Hoseok would get hit under his ribs or his head, either knocking the wind or the sense out of him.

This last punch sent the boy reeling, recoiling back to hold a hand against his face as he felt a deep cut on the inside of his cheek. His teeth had torn straight through the mushy flesh inside his mouth, gushing crimson out and nearly choking the boy on his own fluids.

The other boy across from his smirked, eyes looking at Hoseok with fire and vengeance. He recognized the smaller boy, if only vaguely. He was much like a ghost, barely there and a whisper of a memory in his mind.

He’d see him with an arm draped across another, one who was even shorter than him. He had pretty pale silver hair, looking more regal than anything else. Others would ogle him, seeing him as a good toy to play with or a pretty face to ruin.

It seemed like this boy fought for the other, showing his strength and dominance to all those who dare give a stray eye to the pretty boy. Hoseok tries to remember his name, having talked with him once or twice. He was actually fairly pleasant company.

Hoseok continued to duck and punch at the other boy, all while wracking his brain trying to find that boy’s name.

_What was it?_

One swing that clipped his shoulder, no doubt leaving a searing bruise behind.

_Justin?_

Another that nearly broke his nose but Hoseok barely evaded it with a step back.

_Jimmy?_

The other boy seemed to seethe in anger, losing control as his punches became erratic and chaotic. He lost the finesse he had begun with and now just dumbly swung left and right in hopes to knock every bone in Hoseok’s body loose.

_Jimin._

_His name was Jimin._

Hoseok had that final thought before suddenly a fist collided with his jaw and suddenly everything stopped hurting.

 

 

It was white and blinding but the world seemed to cradle Hoseok. It felt like he had been reborn, the world new and fresh and not as ugly as he remembered.

Nothing was in focus, everything blurred and hazy like he was seeing the world through a misty glass.

“—Seok?”

Hoseok mumbled out, trying to respond to whatever angelic voice sang out to him. He was sure he was dead. The world was never this peaceful and white. Hoseok chuckled at the bitter truth of it all.

He wasn’t sure if he really minded being dead or not.

“Can you hear me? Shin Hoseok?”

The voice continued to soothe the already weightless body, shaking with uncontrollable tremors.

“ _Please, I need you to be able to hear me.”_

The angel sounded sad, desperate even. Hoseok couldn’t understand why anyone would weep over him, especially not an angel. His breathing became more labored, a weight suddenly dropping on his chest. Every heave hurt, the world no longer the gentle creature it was moments ago.

Had Hoseok done wrong by making the angel cry? Maybe this pain was punishment from God, for making his child weep and ache.

Low, muffled sobs echoed on the right side of Hoseok, everything still blurry but he can clearly hear now. The fog lifted from his hearing and everything sounded crisp and clear. He’s sure that whoever is next to him is tragically hurting and he wants to know _why_ , why anyone in the world would be crying over _him._

“God, why would you do this to yourself? You’re worth so much more than this, _worth so much more to me.”_

All Hoseok heard in his mind was continuous voices all asking _why him?_

“I can’t believe Yoongi could even do this to you. I went to high school with him. Hell, I was close friends with the guy. Sure he had a temper, but I never thought he’d be capable of doing _so much damage_. Next time I see him, I’ll kick his ass. Pissy fighter or not, he wouldn’t hurt me.”

Who _is_ that?

Hoseok felt another wave of pain rush in, his nerves burning with boiling stings throughout his body. He felt it the strongest in his face, all over. It was like someone ran over his face hundreds of times only to come back and smash it into the concrete a hundred more.

His fingers itched with the feeling of too much skin trying to heal, already scabbing over.

He’s sure his ankle has to be broken or something, he can’t feel his foot _at all._ It should scare Hoseok, make him feel like he _needs_ to move and scream and cry for help.

But that’s against everything Hoseok has grown to learn.

He’s sure as hell not helpless and useless. He _will_ get over this, it’s just a small speed bump that he has to ease his way over. Small meaning he’s probably going to be in another cast or some form of ankle brace for the second time in 3 months.

Hoseok groans out loud and suddenly someone next to him is stirring to life, gripping at what he thinks are the sides of his bed and peering down at him.

“Hoseok! You’re awake, _thank god._ ”

It was Nurse Yoo.

Now the world began to become crisp around the edges, no longer a muggy window through which Hoseok couldn’t see through.

But Nurse Yoo wasn’t in his usual attire of pale colored scrubs. Instead, he looked fairly… casual.

As casual as someone could be covered in blood and tear tracks staining down his cheeks. His hair was mussed up, no doubt having been run through with his hands multiple amounts of times.

He still managed to look handsome, pretty even, despite all the clear imperfections on the man. His eyes scanned over Hoseok’s visage, most likely checking his injuries.

Hoseok hummed low, the sound making him ache more as his tender body rumbled with unwanted movement. “What happened?”

  
Nurse Yoo—Kihyun—laughed bitterly at the question. It was dry and didn’t reach his eyes. It made Hoseok’s heart burn at the edges just a bit.

“That seems to be a recurring question with you, hasn’t it?” Kihyun asks, eyes drowning in sadness as they bore into Hoseok’s own. “You were being a complete moron. _Again._ ”

Hoseok huffed out a pitiful excuse for a laugh. It only resulted in more pain erupting from places he didn’t even think could hurt.

“Are you in a lot of pain?” Kihyun asked to which Hoseok responded with a low _mmhmm_ , unable to form coherent words without straining his sore body.

“Good. Your dumb ass deserves to hurt, for putting yourself through this. You got in another damn fight again, and don’t you _dare_ lie to me and say it was justified. I had a friend call me and say you were knocked out cold in the center of some bullshit ring after going a few rounds with Min Yoongi.”

 _That_ _was that guy’s name,_ Hoseok thought.

“I came and got you, with the help of a friend. You’re pretty fucking heavy, you know that?” Kihyun didn’t give him a chance to respond before continuing his story, eyes locked on the bed frame on the side of his mattress. It was clear that Kihyun did not want eye contact to be made at the time.

“You were just so… _destroyed._ God, I mean you were just bleeding and bruised _everywhere._ I’ve never seen anything like it. And I’ve been working at this damn hospital for 4 years now and have dealt with plenty of car accidents and assaults and weird sexual cases and—“

“Sexual cases?” Hoseok finally piped up, interrupting the shorter male.

“Everything I’ve been saying for the past 15 minutes and _that’s_ what you chose to hear?” Kihyun scoffed and rolled his eyes, finally tearing his eyes away from the man lying in front of him to look around the room instead.

“Fine, how did you know where I was?” Kihyun pondered for a moment, lips pursed as he tried to think of how he’d phrase the next few things.

“I have friends too, ones that are aware of the ongoings of this town. It’s not uncommon, these fighting rings. I learned about them when I was young, oddly enough, when I was with Yoongi.”

Hoseok thought back to the small raven-haired man he’d sparred with, trying to recall everything he knew about him. Which was shockingly very little, considering how many fights he’d participated in.

Kihyun chuckled bitterly, eyes locked on the bland bed sheets on the hospital bed Hoseok laid on.

“He always had this fire in him, not afraid to burn everything and everyone in his path. Including me.” Hoseok looked at Kihyun, trying to piece together the relationship between the two men. “He told me he’d never hurt me, that all of these fights were for me. If you asked me, that was a load of bullshit. What reason did he have to fight for, especially because of me? End of the day, it hurt to see him wounded or knocked out or worse, but it hurt to even think about leaving him. It hurt to think about leaving _us._ We were like Bonnie  & Clyde, taking the world by storm. But the world was just too ugly for Yoongi, and he felt like he had to destroy everything. Even me.”

Hoseok was mute, trying to process everything Kihyun was telling him. It was more than the answer to his question yet he didn’t want to stop him, he was learning so much about the man. Learning that he was more than just the high maintenance nurse that cared a little too much for him.

“Sorry, that was probably a lot more than you wanted. You know Kim Namjoon?”

Hosoek nodded.

“Well we’re friends, not super close, but we went to high school together and just stayed in touch since then. You already know he’s usually working at those rings, taking in people’s bets and all that. He lets me know about Yoongi, tells me how he’s doing. Up until a point, I tried to tell myself I didn’t care about him anymore. That he deserves every punch to the face he gets because he got himself in that mess and threw away everything good in his life. But after Namjoon told me he was nearly beaten to death one night, I realized I’d never truly get over him. I heard he got over me though. Has a pretty boyfriend, I see why he likes him.” Another bitter chuckle but this time it’s paired with eyes meeting Hoseok’s own.

“And then he had told me about this guy with iron fists and angry eyes. This guy who never turns down a fight, no matter how unmatched he is. A guy with pretty pink lips and blue-tipped hair who has a penchant for leather.”

Hoseok laughed as well as he could with the burning pain coursing through his body.

“Couldn’t keep myself away, I got curious. So I listened to the stories he’d tell me. And I’d match them to the half-assed ones you’d give me when you came in. It was pretty funny actually.” Kihyun smiled and sighed.

“Guess I have a type.”

Hoseok hummed, taking in his surroundings. Another private room, but there were more machines and things around his bed. An I.V. was imbedded deep in his vein on his arm and he thinks it’s pumping something that’s _supposed_ to help with the pain but hasn’t kicked in yet.

“So?” Kihyun asked, bringing the other male’s attention back on him. He furrowed his brows, wondering what Kihyun was trying to ask him.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened this time around or…?” Hoseok bit his lip, trying to recall what had actually happened.

“I… I don’t remember, I’m sorry, I really don’t.”

Kihyun scoffed and shook his head, hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.

“With a concussion like the one you got, I didn’t think you’d remember. Luckily, I can be pretty persuasive and managed to get some information.” Kihyun boasted.

Hoseok mind flashed with dirty thoughts and images of his nurse/crush getting info from his “friends” at the yard, most of which included him getting down on his knees and flashing his pretty smile before doing unbelievable things with his tongue and mouth.

Kihyun’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth gaped, Hoseok not yet realizing that he’d spaced out but not before introducing Kihyun to a serious issue under his hospital gown.

“Um… Hoseok?”

Hoseok looked back at Kihyun only to be met with a flushed face and shifty eyes.

“You do realize you’re only in a hospital gown and not currently under your bed sheets, right?”

The blue-tipped male looked down to find himself pitching a serious tent, one that couldn’t possibly go unnoticed even by the most oblivious person in the universe. Hoseok suddenly feels all the color drain from his face, not knowing how to even react to the situation at hand.

“Well, at least we know that you didn’t break it and that it seems to be in full working order.” Kihyun teased, obviously holding back laughter. Hearing Kihyun speak in such a light manner lifted Hoseok’s spirits, making him feel just a little bit better than before.

“As nice as it is to hear you joking about my boner, I’m actually still hurting a lot. Is there anything you can do about it?” Hoseok inquired, shifted uncomfortably as his body ached from being in one position for so long.

Kihyun paused before answering, “I mean, I could just take care of it now if you _really_ need me to. Did you have a preference or something?”

Hoseok looked at Kihyun in confusion, lost at his words. “What do you mean ‘ _preference’_? I just need something that works fast. I would rather it not take forever, you know?”

Kihyun nods and walks over to the door, locking it instead of walking out to get some medicine like Hoseok thought he would.

“Just let me know if something’s up, okay?” Kihyun says before stripping himself of his hoodie, revealing a crisp white t-shirt covered in browning blood stains, most likely it Hoseok’s own blood smeared over the front.

Kihyun licks his lips and sits at the edge of the bed, eyes searching over Hoseok for any signs to stop, any sort of discomfort other than what was already painfully obvious. After none were shown, the pink-haired male felt a little more at ease with what he was about to do.

Kihyun exhaled a large sigh and reached over, cupping his palm over the fairly sized bulge under Hoseok’s gown. Hoseok nearly jumped out of his own skin at the contact, visibly flinching away from Kihyun’s hand only to cower back into a sort of ball-like position, in obvious pain from the sudden shocked movement.

Kihyun jerked his hand back, recoiling it as if he had just touched a hot stove. He worriedly looked over Hoseok, seeing him light up in different shades of pain and discomfort.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! Was that too much? God, I’m _really_ sorry, I-I just thought… since you asked and all… I wanted to help you-“

“Help me with my dick?!” Hoseok squeaked, a pitch far higher than anyone would ever expect to come from such a muscle toned man.

“ _You asked me to ease the problem_! Quickly and efficiently for that manner!” Kihyun shouted back, trying to defend his wandering hands. He truly hoped he hadn’t offended the other male but he was only doing what he asked of him.

“What are you talking abou— _oh._ ” Hoseok gaped, eyes wide as he realized the issue. “You… you thought— _you seriously thought I meant helping me with my boner??_ ” Hoseok near hissed, eyebrows furrowed worryingly at the situation. Kihyun nodded dumbly, as if saying ‘ _duh_ , _what else?’_ to the other. “I meant with the pain! You know, we’re in a hospital and you’re a nurse who actually knows what they’re doing! Or at least, I _thought_ you did.”

Realization crossed Kihyun’s face as it suddenly dawned on him what had happened. His cheeks flushed a dark shade of rose and his throat itched with how dry it became. He darted his tongue out to lick his lips and his eyes dropped down to the floor, unable to keep eye contact with the guy he just fondled.

“God damn, I’ve been trying to get into your pants for _how long now?_ Now that you actually do act on it, it’s when I don’t want it. Well, I always want it, but I’m kinda hurting bad at the moment.” Hoseok began to ramble on, words that Kihyun had never expected to hear out of the other’s mouth. Then again, he had never expected him to give him a hand with such a thing in his own workplace before. Not that it never crossed his mind in the past, however.

“Kihyun, please look at me.”

Kihyun’s eyes were firmly stuck on the linoleum under his feet. He gulped audibly and mustered up enough confidence to tear them away and slowly trail back up, only to find strangely soft and understanding eyes looking back at him.

“Did you hear a word I said? I am interested, but I could really use something to help with the hurt I’m feeling all over. After that, I’m all yours to… _help._ ” Hoseok ended his phrase with a smirk, licking hisnlips for added effect.

Kihyun laughed, relieved that the situation didn’t go in every bad direction that he had begun to think in his head. “You’re such a flirt, Shin Hoseok. I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore, but as long as you don’t hold this against me, I’m good.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll definitely hold something against you, as soon as my ankle fixes itself up.” Hoseok’s eyebrow cocked up, a smug smile gracing his mouth as he watched Kihyun’s nervous shifting and flushed face. He found it all unbelievably cute and irresistible.

“Okay Casanova, I’m gonna get your actual nurse on-call, who’ll help you out. Not in the way I was going to, I hope. Though, I’m pretty sure Hyungwon has a better mouth than me for that sort of stuff.” Kihyun teased as he exited the room, but not before kindly pulling the bed sheets over Hoseok’s body, effectively shielding his slowly deflating erection from the world. Hoseok took the action sweetly and smiled, despite the oddity of it all.

It’s the second time he gets hard in this hospital because of his nurse, though this time he wasn’t _actually_ his nurse. And he hadn’t denied helping him out with his _problems_ later on.

Hoseok smiled to himself, taking the day a small victory despite the constant throbbing pain that echoed throughout his bones all over. He’d thank Yoongi one day, maybe even get he and Jimin something, as a token of appreciation.

It made Hoseok wonder though, Kihyun hadn’t gotten the chance to explain what actually happened between the time of the fight and when he awoke in the hospital. He’d have to ask him about it later, if he ever got this pain to go away.

Right now, he just tried to think of anything and everything else to try and distract himself from the growing sharp jabs he slowly felt increasing along his sides. 

He passed the time by thinking of ways to treat Kihyun, where to properly take him to be wined and dined before he _really_ rocked his world. He hoped these constant thoughts would help encourage his body to heal a little faster, to will the tingling nerves inside his body to still, for the sake of taking his beloved nurse somewhere proudly and be able to end someday by calling him his.

It worked.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> is anyone else personally offended by Hoseok's outfit from that vlive for a magazine shoot (it's where i got his choice of clothes here from) it was RUDE and i'm still hurt by it


End file.
